Thursday, June 02, 2005

My List

After a night of soul searching, I feel it necessary for this blog to offer its apology regarding yesterday's remarks about Michael "Savage" Weiner's most recent book, Liberalism is a Mental Disorder.

Friends, loved ones, the truth is, I have not read this book by Mr. Weiner, or any of his other books. My judgement of this book was not made ex cathedra, but was rather made out of school, where Bulworth stakes no claims to inerrancy or infallibility.

My leap to judgement about Liberalism is a Mental Disorder did get me to thinking about something else, however.

In parsing the list of most harmful books submitted by the editors of Human Events Online, and derived from its cadre of eminent conservative "scholars" and public policy "leaders", I believe I've identified at least one thing each of these books has in common.

Each of these books has a similarly vague title. On Liberty, Feminist Mystique, Descent of Man, Unsafe at any Speed, Das Kapital, General Theory of Employment, Democracy and Education. How on earth is one supposed to know, without reading them, what these books are about? On Liberty. What about liberty? Is liberty good or bad? General Theory of Employment. What is the general theory of employment? Should people be employed? Democracy and Education. What about democracy and education? Are these related concepts? Are democracy and education good or bad? See what I mean? There's nothing in these titles to inform prospective readers what the book's perspective is or what the substantive arguments of the books are.

Fortunately, books by conservative "scholars" and public policy "leaders" don't suffer from this problem. Their book titles include both the book's conclusion as well as the substance of their arguments. One of the helpful advantages of this approach is that one need not actually read the books to know what the book's message is. This helps save a considerable amount of time.

As an example, I have taken the trouble of identifying the most harmful books written in the last decade, give or take a few years. I trust you will easily see that even though you and I have been spared the punishment of having to read them, their titles give us enough to go on.

1. Unfit to Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry, by John O'Neil

2. The Enemy Within: Saving America from the Liberal Assault on our Schools, Faith, and Military, by Michael "Savage" Weiner

3. Deliver Us from Evil: Defeating Terrorism, Despotism, and Liberalism

4. Men in Black: How the Supreme Court is Destroying America, by Mark Levin

5. Liberalism is a Mental Disorder: Savage Solutions, by Michael "Savage" Weiner

6. Persecution: How Liberals are Waging War against Christianity, by David Limbaugh

7. Slouching towards Gomorrah: Modern Liberalism and American Decline, by Robert Bork

8. Let Freedom Ring: Winning the War of Libery over Liberalism, by Sean Hannity

9. How to talk to a Liberal (if you must): The World according to Ann Coulter, by Ann Coulter

10. Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism, by Ann Coulter

11. Slander: Liberal Lies about the American Right, by Ann Coulter

12. The Savage Nation: Saving America from the Liberal Assault on our Borders, Language and Culture, by Michael "Savage" Weiner

13. The Case against Hilary Clinton, by Peggy Noonan

14. The Final Days: The Last, Desperate Abuses of Power by the Clinton White House, by Barbara Olson (deceased 9/11)

15. High Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Case against Bill Clinton, by Ann Coulter

16. Dereliction of Duty: The Eyewitness Account of how Bill Clinton compromised America's national security, by Robert Patterson

17. Hilary's Scheme: Inside the next Clinton's Ruthless Agenda to take the White House, by Carl Limbacher

18. Intelligence Failure: How Clinton's National Security Policy Set the Stage for 9/11, by David Bossie

19. Weapons of Mass Distortion: The Coming of the Liberal Media Meltdown, by Brent Bozell

20. If it's not close, they can't cheat: crushing the democrats in every election and why your life depends on it, by Hugh Hewitt

21. A Matter of Character: Inside the White House of George W. Bush, by Ronald Kessler

22. The French Betrayal of America, by Kenneth Timmerman

23. Hating America: The New World Sport, by John Gibson

24. Why the Left Hates America: Exposing the Lies that have obscured our nation's greatness, by Dan Flynn

25. More than Money: true stories of people who learned life's ultimate lesson, by Neil Cavuto

Yes, there are so many, so many more. But hopefully this will give you a taste of true conservative literature and what writing and books are supposed to be about: Liberalism, liberal supreme court, democrats, bad. bad. America and your life is at stake if conservative america is not allowed to destroy, stamp out, and burn at the stake any and all impure peoples dwelling within america's borders that don't faithfully support fox news, the bush white house, and Peggy Noonan.

Book summaries welcome.

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