Thursday, March 17, 2005

This Just In...

Scott Peterson was officially sentenced to death yesterday...

Actor Robert Blake was found not guilty of killing his wife and CNN's court-room TV-babe Nancy Grace is pissed...

Michael Jackson is still on trial in Caleefornia on charges of child molestation...

That guy that killed the judge in a courtroom in Atlanta is still in custody...

President Bush called on Democratic opponents to put forward a plan for saving Social Security but declined to submit his own, claiming that all first bills are dead on arrival...

Conservative columnist Robert Novak writes today about how so far off the reservation that Republican governor of Indiana is for agreeing to raise taxes to balance the budget and about what a great conservative American that Mississippi Governor and former National Republican Party Chairman, Haley Barbour is for bravely opposing any and all tax increases for his state, which has amazed us all for its history of economic progress, high standard of living, and democratic values. For this reason, soon to be World Bank prez Paul Wolfowitz has declared his intention to use the State of Mississippi as a model example of how developing countries should remake their economies and political institutions. "With the world's help, we will do our darndest to make sure that today's third world countries maintain a system of low wages, crumbling infrastruture, high levels of military and armaments spending, and religious and jinoistic fanaticism."

The debate over Social Security is still in its early stages and the next two weeks will be critical as President Bush and Republican members of Congress really start boldly advocating privatization reform and rallying Americans young and old, black and white, to the righteousness of their cause. Really. They mean it this time. For the first time yesterday, Republican lawmakers announced that Social Security was enacted in 1935 during the Great Depression, which most Americans are no doubt unaware of. In a separate news conference Republican members of Congress held up 1789's U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights and announced their intention to "modernize" the document and its principles.

By a narrow, 51-49 margin, The U.S. Senate yesterday voted to allow oil-drilling in the Alaskan Arctic Reserve, as proponents vowed to finally, once and for all, sever the nation's dependence on foreign oil, especially the kind found in those middle easter, gulf countries that we keep invading in order to make the region more "secure".

Hey, whatever happened to that other stupid, middle class, white guy from middle America that was charged with killing his young, smart, pretty, and white wife in Utah? If we can stay fixated on Peterson for all this time, how come we can't give it up for this guy, too?

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